were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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