hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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