I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
