woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
