So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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