His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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