glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I met the friendliest cop last night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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