so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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