In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
