did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
