thus making me awesome and them whores
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
