I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
