This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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