Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
