I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
