Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
