normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize