So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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