She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
