When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
