You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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