I cockslap morals
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
