I skipped work to stalk him.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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