Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
