I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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