so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
