but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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