Whod you bang
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
