guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
