remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
