Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
