Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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