His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
