We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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