Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
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I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?