something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
