Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.