I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
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I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me