I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.