I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
