his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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