Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
