She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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