Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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