Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
