we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
