Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
