He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
