maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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