is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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