Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
