You surviving the open bar?
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i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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