It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
