Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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