Me. At least after what I've been through.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
