Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
