It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize