i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
