Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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