sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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