You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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