ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
