It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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