Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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