Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
