i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
