i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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