And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
